By: Christine M. Riley, Education Advocate
Bunny ears, Magic Fingers and the Ian Knot—these are methods for one frustrating clothing skill all kids should master: tying their shoes. Parents are often eager for their children to overcome this challenge as they age out of Velcro shoes. Children are often more interested in having their parents overcome a different challenge: Stop pushing them to wear clothes that are too dressy to school.
Bunny ears, Magic Fingers and the Ian Knot—these are methods for one frustrating clothing skill all kids should master: tying their shoes. Parents are often eager for their children to overcome this challenge as they age out of Velcro shoes. Children are often more interested in having their parents overcome a different challenge: Stop pushing them to wear clothes that are too dressy to school.
I’ll address both of these common clothing challenges and offer suggestions.
Believe it or not, one of the most common concerns parents ask about is how to help their children learn to tie shoes so they can get out of Velcro. If you and your child are struggling with this issue, you are not alone!
Wearing Velcro shoes well into elementary school years could give rise to teasing and bullying of your child. In addition, learning the skill provides a boost in self-confidence and opens possibilities to a wider variety of footwear. Many sports involve shoes that often must be tied, such as soccer cleats. Help your child help himself by initiating shoe-tying skills as soon as reasonable.
I discovered these shoe-tying videos several years ago and frequently recommend them to clients.
This first video shows the “Ian Knot,” which is an easy and fast method for tying shoes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgSwvDkJVxE
The next video provides the “Magic Fingers” method, which is a bit more complicated, but may be easier for some children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWl2dPfBQPk
Speaking of being reasonable, let’s talk about your child’s wardrobe. On this subject, I speak from personal experience. When my son was young, I insisted he wear khaki shorts or pants and polo shirts or button-down shirts everywhere but at home. He had “play clothes” to wear after school in the yard and house. But when he ventured beyond, I put my foot down and made him change into “appropriate”clothing. He was compliant, but not happy about it.
It was brought to my attention that kids his age wore t-shirts and sports shorts, sweat pants or wind pants (remember those?) almost everywhere. He did not need to tempt bullies and peers by “looking as if his Mommy had dressed him,” I was told.
This turned out to be sage advice. Once I started allowing my son to dress in more age-appropriate (and comfortable) clothing, not only did the getting dressed portion of our mornings flow more smoothly, he ended up making some new friends at school who shared his interests in the sports players and teams displayed on his favorite t-shirts.
An interesting epilogue: As a teenager, my son became interested in dressier clothing—seersucker blazers, bow ties, and Nantucket red khakis are some of his staples!
Note: For those of you with sensory-sensitive children, the best advice often comes from other parents, as in this blog post.